Hacking’s not cheating if it’s done the right way. The right way is the way that gets you drunk. Ever wondered how to get drunk off of gummy bears and oranges? See them all.
Genius! These make drinking so much more practical.
These are the best life hacks I’ve seen yet. You’ve got to see #3.
Booze makes everything better
I hope when you peel citrus fruit
that it all comes out in one piece.
I hope that you have nothing to do today
so that you can stay in the shower
because sometimes that’s the warmest
and safest place to be.
I hope you let the sidewalk kiss
the bottoms of your bare
blistered feet after you’ve walked
far too long in uncomfortable shoes.
I hope the lights are all green on your drive home.
I hope the cashier looks at you like you’re beautiful.
I hope you have an appetite tonight and I hope
you have good things to eat.
I hope the walk to your car smells like trees.
I hope you haven’t forgotten how lovely you are.
We all have different definitions of a good day.
I hope you get some stuff done
even when you couldn’t leave your bed last week.
I hope you went outside even though
you didn’t want to see anyone.
I hope you at least have a day
where nothing bad happens.
I hope you have a day when you give yourself a break
because you need to remember that you’re human.
I hope you do something that makes you feel good about yourself.
I hope you do something for you and only you.
I hope you remember it’s not selfish.
I hope you remember it’s okay to eat.
Most of all, I hope you don’t die
because you are so many people’s reasons
to stay alive.